princeparavel's Xanga

My Soul

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 00:50:27 GMT

Ah me, another poem. This one came to me as i happened to be reviewing an iTunes music list.

How dangerous it is
To let someone see
The many odd things
That make up me

The words that I write
The songs that I sing
The scenes that delight
The thoughts that I think

Every act shows my soul
All the parts point to the whole

When what lies deep comes unbidden
Who I am's no longer hidden

Many Things and a Flash of Oreo

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:38:32 GMT

How does one begin a blog? Particularly a blog that one has fully intended to write in once a week and then doesn't?

The above is my first attempt at adding images to my posts. I have no clue how this is going to work. But I digress.

I am sitting here, in front of the computer, and all of a sudden it hits me. I don' know what to "Blog" about. I confess that I really want to write a nice long post about philosophy and theology. About why I think life is simple and why love and hate are two sides of the same coin. How God is relational which means it is important to Him that we are relational.

There is no time, though. I waited too long for today.

P.S. Often, when I am at Verity on a Saturday, I spend much time by myself. I work on various projects and look around on the interwebs. I wonder if this is a good habit? I think not. If I really believe that God thinks relationships are important, and if I am not working on something important, then I need to be with my friends and family. This proclivity to a self-centered lifestyle was brought home to me this week. I call it:

The saga of the Oreos

Ok, so it wasn't that intense, but it is traditional for the music guy at Verity to have Oreos in his office. I had run very low (so low that I suspect one of the other staffers of rationing the cookies to herself). I made various excuses for not getting more. I was too busy, I forgot, they were too expensive etc. Until one morning, after the umpteenth reminder, it dawned on me that I felt inconvenienced. "How could I be so self-centered as to be put-out by Oreos"? I determined to remedy the situation; I went out and got some A.S.A.P. (during my lunch break).
So now I have a cookie jar full of Oreos, but few people come down to the office to eat them. Why? Because I still struggle with this proclivity to self-centeredness. It is good to be alone in a temporary sense, but it is not good for man to be alone. This is something that I am going to have to work on. It means real conversations at meals instead of reading or chewing to myself. It means pitching in to help or talk when I don't feel like it. It means spending time with people and talking about things that might make be uncomfortable, but will help both of us grow.

It means I will have to Love. And do it the way God means me to.

Well, if I want to be personable I'm going to have to sleep. Farewell friends!

I Thunk

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 01:15:37 GMT

A bit rough, but this is what runs through my mind sometimes. Often when I work late.

Here I sit in my office chair,
But my mind is otherwhere

I see the crush of time
As the universe wheels about
I hear the sound sublime
And see the Heavens shout

O could I see His mind
Though it blinds me yet I would gaze
And break myself on Him
From whom I hide my face

O men below! Look! stars above!
Do you wonder now?
Who is the Aweful Love?

Ah! Maker of this shattering
Brilliant beauty be
King of worlds;
Of me

Joshua Ingersoll

Many Thoughts Jumbled

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 12:33:43 GMT

Now, I suppose "Jumbled" is not quite the right word. Perhaps "Disorganized" would be better, but I think not. Perhaps I should have labeled this post "Random Ramblings of a Rambunctious Rogue".

Ah well, the right word escapes me.

I have not blogged in a long time. Not that I have had nothing to say, but that my observations have been difficult to put into words, or they have been to personal, or I have not had time. Any number of excuses rise up before me.

I used to blog so that I could hash out my thoughts on theology and practice. Now I find that I wish I could do it just to keep in touch with people and write articles discussing the importance of properly labeling a blog post (or some such fiddle-faddle). And so I shall (Oh heavens! I just began a sentence with "And". The grammarian in me shudders at this entire post, but especially that faux-pas.).

May this be the beginning of a new era in blogging.

So I end my talking about me, myself and I and I wonder; What should I call this?

Oh Heavens! I've been found out!

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:19:19 GMT

Love will force. That was the status of my facebook yesterday. It was a response to the status of a friend of mine which stated that Christ would have died even if he knew no one would have responded to the gift of salvation. Now this is an unanswerable question. God never does something for no reason and, most of the time, does not give us answers to hypothetical questions.

This question does, however, demonstrate one of the fallacies of our culture's understanding of love. It is commonly believed that love does not force anyone to do anything. While it is true that love woos and is gentle, 1 Corinthians 13 does not rule out forcefulness. For example; If a child runs in front of a car it would be unloving for a parent to stand aside and not force the child out of the way. It is the same with God's love. God snatches us out of the fire and "Forces" His salvation on us. He changes our hearts so that we will respond to His gentle call. It is a gentle forcing, but it is a force nonetheless. One that we have no say in.

Eph. 1:4

What do I mean part 3

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:08:56 GMT

So in my last posts I identified two aspects of life in which everything is contextualized. The glory of God and following Christ's commands.

I also pointed out that the will of God is know as we follow His will in Scripture and our hearts are changed to desire what He wills (thanks Mr. Scheurich for the Psalm 37:4 passage).

So the question remains: What does this have to do with me?

My original statement was that God has called me to a ministry of discipleship. I am to disciple with my life wherever I am. Sharing the Gospel and teaching Christ must become a natural part of me. Whether I am a professor or a dishwasher, that is my primary burden.

My second point was to do it in the context of a family. Now I could jump ahead and talk about how I feel about singleness, but let me back up a bit.

God gave us the family for several different reasons. One is to demonstrate His love through the picture of marriage, another is to demonstrate our position before Him in Christ (Romans 8) and another is to raise up a Godly heritage. Because of this I believe that, as much as possible, we should minister as families. I will attempt to explain myself.

Because of what I just stated, I believe that it is best that I minister in the context of a family. I have several "Family" units that I belong to. The first is my immediate family. By God's grace they are all Christians and I don't need to make them my mission field, but instead minister alongside them and to them. The second is my Christian family. This is my local church and the Body of believers at large. I have been fortunate enough to find myself living and working with believers, as well as attending a not so local church. Wait a minute! Did I just say "Local" and then "Not so local"? Yes, because, while I find it good to minister in a local group, I would be unable to effectively minister to my family if I were to attend elsewhere. In order of importance the family always comes first. So this means that, for me, I drive 45 minutes one way once a week to attend a church that I can minister in in a minimal way. At the same time I realize that what I take for minimalism is actually the exact amount God has for me right now. I know this may be a controversial statement, but I really see no precedent in Scripture for a child to leave off obeying or honoring their parents until they have a family of their own (i.e. become a husband or wife) unless the parent is commanding sin. I have to come to the conclusion, then, that the family is the primary unit. Incidently this is also why I am not a big fan of moving out until you are married or of necessity (i.e. a job or ministry opportunity that is to far away to commute).

Now I move beyond my own family and look at myself. I am fairly certain that God has marriage planned for me at some point. I know also that marriage is an opportunity to do things as a team, so I look forward to the day when I can team up with someone to reach this world for Christ in ministry. This does not mean I wait on the sidelines while I'm single. I must jump in and start reaching people in the now.

Some of you may think that I am coming at things in an odd sort of way (What does marriage have to do with discipleship), but there is a method to my madness. I am trying to demonstrate my calling and how the priorities of life fit within that calling.

My second realm of discipleship ministry is the school where I live and work (I live in a campus apartment). I have my coworkers that are as needy as anyone for encouragement and discipleship (as I am). I work with students who are sometimes very good at hiding their true spiritual state and I need to be urgent in drawing them out and turning their minds toward the Word.

I have two goals in my work at Verity Institute. One is to be a discipler of students, primarily in music. The other is to improve my own academic ability so that more doors of discipleship will be open to me.

So there it is. My manifesto if you will. My goal is to disciple the world in the context of family, Church, and work/education. In that sequence of importance. I hope this excursion has been encouraging and has helped you to know where I am coming from and why I do what I do. I do not find any of these goals contradictory and, by God's grace, will pursue them all with the life God has given me.

Josh Out

What I mean Pt 2

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 08:20:54 GMT

I was thinking about what I had written yesterday and, in reference to the idea of a contextualizing purpose for life, I thought of the following phrase: "My life is meant to direct the sight of others to the Divine glory in its multifaceted brilliance." How I see that working is the subject of this post.

I have often wondered what God's will was for me. Does He have a specific plan? I had always heard that it was so, but how could I find it? Nothing in Scripture said "Thou shalt be a musician". Then I read a book about God's will in which the author stated that God had no specific plan for my life. No plan for marriage or not. No plan for this car or that. Only that I be sanctified and growing in my relationship with Him. Forgive me for being blunt, but I thought that this was absurd. It did violence to the idea of God's omniscience. The only answer that seemed to make any Biblical sense was what I heard John MacArthur say when he preached on God's will. "Love God and do what you want". It suddenly hit me that, if I am doing God's will in every area of life, as described in the Bible, then I should expect to want what He wants me to want, and I should act accordingly.

I began to look at what I wanted to see if it was in line with the rest of God's known will.

I knew what the context of life was (God's glory). Anything outside that was not acceptable. I also knew that I love to teach. My next task was to know whether or not there was an opportunity to teach and please God. The answer? The Great Commission.

The thrust of the commission in Matthew 28:19-20 is one of teaching, but not just any teaching. Teaching Christ to the world. Now the question is "How can I do that?" and I find the answer in all of life. I must teach Christ in every action and word. When I speak to students, am I speaking His words? When I work when no one is watching, do I remember that God is watching and waiting to use those unwatched times to teach Christ to others? Am I discipling (for that is the main idea) through my vocation, teaching music?

All of my life must be given to this since all of my life must be given to God's glory.

Next post: Where am I now and what do I mean by family?

What I mean

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:12:49 GMT

I was recently asked to explain a facebook status. What I had written was:

"Joshua Ingersoll is called to do three things in the following order: To disciple in the context of life To disciple in the context of a family To develop my secular skills to increase opportunities for discipleship."

This is my attempt to explain how I came to this conclusion. This is for you Paul, and for everyone else who wonders what in the world I am doing with my life.

First of all I should preface this by saying that I have not always been convinced of my calling. Like many people I have misspent a good part of life wandering in the nether world of indecision. Wondering if I should do this (work in music) or that (become a lawyer) or the other (construction). It is only in the last 3 months that I have realized calling and how to articulate it. Being forced to articulate an idea sometimes causes a crystallization of thought.

What first clued me in to where I was going, was the realization that no one does anything for no reason (I know that sounds awkward, but bear with me here). Everyone has a purpose for doing something. Even if it is as mundane and absurd as "Because I felt like it" or "Because I wanted to". I have always wanted to know what my reason for doing something was. If I didn't have a purpose I had no motivation. This is why I hated algebra. I was told by successful people that I would never use higher math in my day to day life. As a result I had no motivation for learning it. Now that I know that math greatly helps in critical thinking I have found it to be easy, even fun. The difference is knowing the purpose. Life without purpose is a dreary string of existential experiences that have no more meaning than to verify physical viability.

I needed meaning, and I knew where to go.

In John 1:4 & John 14:6 Jesus is identified as being The Life. He personifies life and it is in Him that life is purposed. He created this world so it made sense for me to go to Him to know and understand my purpose.

Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. this marries the great commissions of the Old and New Testaments. The great command of the Old Testament uses the same wording, but Paul, in 1 Corinthians 10:31, expands this command and demonstrates that the overarching goal is that I bring glory to God. Now then, if the best way I can glorify God is to love Him, I must know what this love is. Since I know that my nature is corrupt it is never a safe assumption to say that my understanding of an attribute is that attribute's definition.

In this case I was more concerned with how this related to life purpose rather than relationships. I have greatly appreciated Dr. Gothard's desire to contextualize all of life in the commands of Christ. It is through understanding that those who love Jesus Christ obey His commands (John 14:15) that I have found a contextualizing purpose. Following Christ and desiring His glory is my primary life goal and what gives context (perspective) to everything that I do.

Next post: What is my specific calling in this context?

Riduculously interesting thoughts

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:43:22 GMT

Or at least I have some.

I used to blog on here fairly regularly, but for some reason I just have not gotten around to it. I know I need to finish the article I was writing on worship, but I confess I think the simple idea that I wanted to say was that worship is distinct from music. They are two distinct ideas. Music can be used in worship, but it can also be used for other things. Col. 3:16 identifies at least two other ways that music can and should be used. Teaching and admonition. Does that mean music cannot be used for worship? No. We must be very careful about what I call "Selective interpretation" of the Scriptures. Some people will apply Old Testament Scripture and Law to their life, but when it comes to music and worship, only use what is in the New Testament. They may say things like: "The early Church used no instruments" (historically they did) or they may apply an exceptional instance (such as the Lord's Supper) as a pattern for all worship. The question that comes to my mind when approaching such ideas is; "Why would there be anything written about the form of worship in the New Testament when it had already been established in the Old Testament?". Laying aside the law does not mean that the established patterns are not valuable. Remember that the disciples still worshiped at the Temple after Jesus had ascended. (Acts 2:46; 3:1)

All this to say that engaging in music making is not necessarily worship.

I know that this is by no means well written. Many of these ideas are just that, ideas. Thoughts that have been germinating in my head for a long time. I put them down because I said that I would.

Josh Out

Testing

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 13:46:45 GMT

So today I am working at Verity. Some of you may wonder what my day is like. Should I tell you? hmmmm.

Unfortunately no pictures are available since I am not a shutterbug and my digital camera is sleeping at home. Yes, my electronics sleep.

So I come into my office (or "Cave") in the morning. I have to say, as humans we have perfected the art of reversing the seasons. I am unbearably cold during the summer and hot during the winter. In other words: you could compare my office to a refrigerator. :)